chrysalis

Imagine the one person you love more than anything. Imagine him or her standing in front of you, but a screen stands between the two of you, blocking you from touching them. Wherever you go, this giant glass screen roams between you both. For eternity you're both doomed from ever touching, loving, hearing, or smelling one another. All you can see is their face. When she laughs you want the sound to sparkle in your ears. When he sleeps you want to kiss him goodnight. When she cries you want to hold her. When he looks like he cannot breathe you want to die. But there is nothing you can do but watch . . . or close your eyes and pretend like nothing is happening, pretend like it's all falling away from you, all of it is falling apart.

This is the pain I feel when I realize I will never know everyone. I will never hear all of the struggles, I will never smile with all the laughs, I will never experience the touch of everyone's hand in mine. Life is so short, it seems. I'm eighteen and it already feels like I've only had two minutes to do everything I've ever wanted to do. I wish I knew how everyone felt when they listened to a song I like a lot, or a song I really dislike, because I just want to know. Man will never have enough knowledge for himself. No one will ever know every mystery of the world. A simple and stupid realization, I know . . . Shouldn't this be obvious? Is it stupid that this frustrates and bothers me? The side effects of my antibiotics include confusion and dizziness, and maybe confusion is all I've got right now. Whatever it is, I wish everyone could know that I want to know all of them and feel all of their breaths and all of their heartbeats. I want to know everyone's last words before they die. I want to know every baby's face when they look into their mother's eyes for the very first time.