~*~*~listening to sun airway~*~*reminiscing~*

i'm feeling magical right now

i wish i knew jared leto in person. he seems so c00l and sauve he seems like everything i ever wanted in a person ;;;; he even wear his hair down his back like mine. wow i just played off of lil wayne lyrics so i must be going insane. i wish it would just get warm outside STAT whY does the weather have these severe effects on me like i go outside some days and i have to catch my breath because the cold is so bitterly awful it cuts at my throat and then i just feel depressed and dead for the rest of the day. whenever the sun shines through the clouds i feel so centered with myself

midterms are killing me i kinda wanna shoot myself sometimes for procrastinating on all these assignments . but it's not like i can help it since i had work three days in a row on the weekend, and when i get off work i feel so exhausted i just drive home and pass out. my job involves small-talking to people constantly and it gets pretty drab especially since i suck at that small talk shit. the small talk exhausts me i just wanna be like "oh you have children? it's really shitty right?"

lately i've been feeling so much spirituality in my life, i wish i had more time to refocus my life in spiritual ways. this is why i can't wait for the summer because i just wanna spend the whole season refocusing my goals and my self-healing. also i made the decision to not be a teacher anymore. i don't want a life of routine. i just want to write, and yeah it's a shitty career path financial-wise but i do not want to spend my life doing shit that doesn't fill me up with inexplicable passion. writing has to be my life and there is no other way around it. i choose a life of anything but luxury; i choose a life i know is right for me, a life of love, a life of the written word because i do not see any greater art than our human ability to write what we speak and speak what we write