I'm a complete punk in the winter; summer I'm a gypsy

I hate how in life you have to make yourself noticed until someone notices you.

The fact that I could be let go from my job really frightens me. The fact that all jobs are temporary frightens me even more. And most of all, the fact that life itself is one giant temporary notion -- for the individual body itself -- is extremely frightening. I don't think anyone can truly understand life and be at peace with one's life at all without accepting life's temporary essence. I don't want to die knowing that I didn't leave my mark. All anyone wants to do is something great, whether it's good or evil. They want to leave their marks so people will breathe their names through the air fifty years later.

Why is that so special to humans -- being remembered? Is memory really just so fragile that we must use every last bit of it? Even remembering the names of people we never even met or know about? And why does everyone want that so much? 

I mean, I want my mark on this world. Every does. But how is it even possible with this outrageous population? Does being human and doing something truly awesome even mean anything anymore?

And more specifically, does it matter so much to be human that I should most definitely get up at 6 just to finish Comm homework and then go out of my way to be interviewed for a magazine position at 11? Why does all this matter. 

I don't know the answer. All I can think of is that if humans stopped being humans and doing human things then there wouldn't be anymore humans. And as terrible and tragic as it sounds, I am desperate for this circumstance to happen. For one day can we please just all lay in our beds for 24 hours and do absolutely nothing except eat bananas and drink water and sleep? It will be International Do Absolutely Nothing Day. I'll establish the holiday. That will be my mark on this fucked up planet.