Curled up on the top side of my bed, waiting for my hair to dry. Why is it even called the "top side"? Am I the only one that calls it that? It's not like the bed is turned up vertically so that there is a top and a bottom.

Is anything ever worth it? Is it worth it to feel like I'm an object for the universe to look at and judge? That's all I ever feel like, especially lately, like I'm being stared at and everything around me has a pair of gleaming, oppressive, shining eyes. Have I got it all wrong? It seems like my beliefs aren't worth it, even the ones I love tell me I'm believing in the wrong things, the wrong way. Forever trapped in a state of stubbornness, like I don't know what's best for myself or anyone else. They don't know that they are the ones who trap me. Tired of people telling me to act a certain way. Have I no right to be my true self, even around the ones who know me best? Even the things that do not have mouths, or faces, things that cannot speak -- all of it tells me I'm doing life the wrong way.

Is it worth it to walk into work today, just to act like a friendly stranger to other friendly strangers? Human interaction. It is nothing more than an illusion, something to make us feel less alone. But we are all alone. We are born alone, we are held in our mothers' arms. But even she is alone. I feel like I'm slowly losing pieces of myself, into every person I look at, every person I talk to. The never ending interaction with other people is what kills us, not time.